Think tiny little thoughts and climb in under neath your sink like a spider monkey and unhook everything that goes through the hole towards your dishwasher. **PRO TIP:  turn off the water valve before unhooking that one hose, you know, the one that is next to the valve….  Open the dishwasher door and unscrew the brakets holding it to the counter top. Close the door and grab anywhere you can to try and pull it out of the cubby hole that it has been shoved back into. Then quick, push the part that just bent back into place before your wife sees. Good. Now open the door again and try to walk the thing out by holding on the inside of the Dishwasher. Out now? Good, now go clean up all the water that leaked out all the heck all over in the cabinets. Cool, now tip it up on its front side so you can see all the electrical bits that you honestly don’t know what they are or what they do. Now unhook and remove the heating element like a boss. To do this you have to be a level 452 tetris champion, or else you’re going to have to take a side off of your Dishwasher. If you don’t know where your heating element is, either consult Lamentations or find the thing that has two pegs that stick out with electrical clips slid on.  Test the heating element with a Volt Meter, then go HERE and buy a new one.

While you wait for the mailman to bring the new heating element to you, I reccomend 2 things.  1, go put a towel under the front of your dishwasher, its leaking on your carpet.  And 2, hand wash your dishes for now.  Waiting won’t be worth it.

1.  Kicking food idolatry.  The Bible is veeeeeery clear about idolatry.  What does this look like?  I would go to a restaurant and order whatever I wanted because it was just that, what I want.  While I will qualify the whole mess as food idolatry, it has an ugly co-pilot in my deeply rooted selfishness.  I need to do a better job of actually conditioning my body to run the race.  Christians often take 1 Corinthians 24-27 and talk about the mental things we do to trip ourselves up, it isn’t often used in the physical context of taking care of your body for the physical work that is to be done here on Earth.  I need to condition my body so I am always physically ready to “go.”

2.  Flip my food intake.  My intent at the end of this whole ordeal is to spend 80% of my time eating primarily high nutrient food.  The rest of the time, I’m a red blooded country boy who loves burgers…  My intent is to eat better during the vast majority of my life, and let myself have “normal food” as a treat on the off occasion.  Right now I eat mostly processed junk, and not a whole lot of uncooked fruits and veggies…  By flipping that equation, I think my body can heal itself as it has for others all over the world.

3.  Avoid starvation.  The natural thought process is to lose weight I can’t eat very much and will be hungry all the time.  This won’t work, never has never will.  There are a number of reasons why this scientifically will not work for you.  And if you do manage to slim down to skin and bones you’ve likely done tons of damage to your body in the process, not prudent.

So what am I actually doing?  I watched the video Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead.  Cliff notes version, an Australian went on a juice fast for 60 days lost a ton of weight, cured a rare auto-immune disease.  Then helped another guy do it, who in turn helped other people do it.

That is what I’m doing.

Well, as a home owner I get to do plenty of this even though I don’t care for it. Recently my dishwasher as started reading out the error code HE at random during the process of making my dishes shiny and clean. By consulting the Oracle (google), I found this was an error code indicating the heating element was fussy. This really grinds me because we had work done on this dishwasher about a year ago to the day, and I was lucky then that LG was covering everything out of the warranty. No such luck this time.

But as an aspiring fixit man (begrudgingly) and like all people now-a-days I took to the interwebs to see what other people did about their HE error code, hoping that some other fixit dude posted his experience online….sure enough… Found a guy who had the same issue and fixed it himself on a forum. He was nice enough to spell out the fix, and the steps he had to take to get it done.  But even MORE importantly than telling me how he did it, he told me where to get the parts  I was fairly confident I could figure out how to replace the thing myself, but what I needed to know is if I was looking at an expensive part or not.  So I popped over to the Repair Clinic website and found my heating element for 50 bucks, jackpot.

Now I just have to rip out my dishwasher and get to testing my heating element to make sure this is 50 bucks I need to spend, or if there is another issue going on….  I’m sensitive to buying the parts before knowing what the problem is, bought $75 worth of V-Belts for a washer last year that didn’t need them….  Yes I’m bitter and no I don’t want to talk about it.

Time to go clean the workshop, gonna need room in the dishwasher repair center

Good for him.  If I could get 5 minutes with him I would simply ask him to consider that with great wealth / power / influence comes great responsibility….help people…lots and lots of people.

When at first I learned to speak
I used all my words to fight
With him and her and you and me
Oh but its just a waste of time
Yeah its such a waste of time